And what will ModCloth show me today that will make me shake my fist to the heavens and curse them?
Look at this goddamn dress:
That shit is adorable. Those rosettes on the skirt are just weird enough to be quirky adorable and not like, Holly Hobby crafty. And the hot pink belt? FUHGEDDABOUDIT.
But wait, there’s more:
That’s right, assholes. That’s a v-neck, full-skirted, silver polka-dotted pile of awesome. I’d think about hosting a dinner party in that rag. (I say “think about” because my ass is super lazy, so I’d entertain the thought and then maybe just Trader Joe’s wine and Babybel cheese it with a friend or two instead.)
And again I say: DAMN YOU, ModCloth. I cannot buy ALL THE THINGS. Not even a majority of the things.
And that problem is ModCloth. Seriously. I keep trying to make myself unsubscribe from their mailing list, or NOT go to their site and add a disturbing number of things to my shopping cart. I fail at this on a regular, pathetic basis. My super cheapass side usually wins out and I end up buying only two things, but when this is once a month, that really doesn’t balance out.
The problem is that ModCloth carries super cute clothes and some are affordable when you’re a cheapass and you don’t save as much as you should because little purchases add up and where did my paycheck go?
ModCloth also carries the wardrobe that I would have if I was stupid wealthy. I have never been stupid wealthy, but I assume if that glorious day ever came, I’d dress a bit nicer, but really, I’d buy the same stuff only WAY MORE OF IT. (I know, this is gross consumerism, but writing this post is keeping me from BUYING MORE GODDAMN MODCLOTH STUFF that I shouldn’t, so humor me and don’t judge too hard.)
I mean, look at this:
I would wear shit like that all the time if I had the money to create that wardrobe. Oh wait, look at this fucking thing:
Can’t you imagine it? I’d be in a local coffee shop with my Mac Book Air (I don’t have a Mac Book Air, but let’s let this fantasy go wild, shall we), writing my shitty teen novel that will make me my millions, dressed like an AWESOME PERSON WRITING IN A COFFEE SHOP ON THEIR MAC BOOK AIR.
But alas, it’s not to be. I have rent to pay and eventual disasters to save up for, so instead, I just browse and drool. And occasionally break down and grab clearance stuff.
***SPOILERS for Game of Thrones, you guys***
S and I are both new to Game of Thrones. After the incredible season on HBO, we both got the book. She has finished it, I’m partway through.
K: I just got to the part in Game of Thrones where Ned ensures the fact that he’ll die, jfc
K: “Oh hey, Cersei, just letting you know, I’m totally hip to your game.”
K: “Oh hey, Littlefinger, I’m putting all my trust in you, k?”
S: WHAT IS HIS MALFUNCTION
K: “Oh hey, dying king Robert. You’re dying, so I won’t tell you your wife is a scheming bitch.”
K: OH NED
K: so noble
K: so, SO dumb
S: FUH REAL
S: the only properly conniving thing he did was write “the rightful heir” in the Will
but then Cersei, bless her evil heart, was all, “What, THIS Will? <shred>”
K: “Can I see that?” she says
K: “SEE WITH YOUR EYES, NOT WITH YOUR HANDS,” said no one
S: “NOPE. THE OLD MAN CAN READ IT TO YOU.”